Better There, Than Here

My dad called a few nights ago to tell me that K had told my dad that Thugboy had got into an argument with the maintenance people at the apartments they are staying at. I'm not sure exactly what went down between both parties involved, but my sister had to pull Thugboy away from the fight to tell him to watch himself because who was going to watch A if he went to jail again. My sister called my Mom the other night to tell her they didn't have any air. They had been staying in the SUV at night because it was cooler. They wanted A to come stay with my Mom at my grandmother's because she was eat up with mosquito bites.

I called my Mom yesterday to find out if she had talked to Thugboy to see if he was going to let us come get A for a few weeks again. She had already gone to bed by the time I called, so I called back tonight. Thugboy has decided yet again to keep A from coming down here to see us. I lost it. I told my mom it was bullshit. I don't understand how her life is so much better up there, than it is down here.

She's moving from place to place. Her father gets in fights all day and he doesn't have a job. My sister has knots in her breast and cervical issues, but won't go to the doctor to get them checked out because of Thugboy. A has only had one set of shots since she was born and that was at 10 months old. She doesn't have health care. Their SUV doesn't have head-lights, brake-lights, windshield wipers, and their blinkers don't work either.

I've been fighting this battle for three years. It's draining. I'm not sure how much longer I can should keep fighting. I know A deserves better, but what can I do?

In an effort of self preservation, I selfishly want to cut ties with them. I don't want to speak to my mother until she gets mental help. She never even responded to my email I sent on Mother's Day. I'm tired of hearing stories from my Dad, Mom, and Grandma about how shitty the situation is between Thugboy and K, but they aren't taking any real action against them. Both of my parents are enabling them by feeding them money here and there. These two people are not going to grow up as long as they don't have to. They are incompetent. Neither one of them can think for them self, much less for the innocent child they created that is being caught in the middle.

It's so fucking hard knowing I'm infertile and can't have kids while watching these to continuously use this child as a pawn to gain whatever they want or need at the time. If A is down here visiting, it's hard to call my parents to ask for food and gas money. If A is down here visiting, it's hard for Thugboy to use A's childcare as an excuse to not get a job.

I fucking hate it with every ounce of my being. I'm just not sure how much I can hang on and fight. What's the point any more?