I have to go through her things before Saturday. I have to pick out the toys and clothes I'm going to let her leave with. I want her to have some familiar things to take with her as she goes through this transition, but I also know I won't be getting any of these things back.
Some of the things will go with her.
Some of the things I will save for her when she grows up.
Some of the things I will resell.
But, I don't get to go through these things on my terms. I have to to do it now--this week. I wanted to be able to decide how and when I mourn. I didn't want someone else telling me when and how to.
Some of the things will be easy to part with, but others will not. It will be easy to send her barbie house and barbie dolls, because she uses those on a daily basis. But what about the backpack I had her name monogrammed on, the one that matches mine?
It'll be hard being forced to go through these things before Saturday, but what happens when I come back home Saturday night, to an empty house with toys and clothes that have been cherry picked through and she's not here any more?
Then what?
4 comments:
You know... I can't see her not living with you again...people don't really change.
Let her take the toys, since she plays with them. I would keep the backpack though, since that was special, and it might be destroyed/lost by certain people out of a sense of retribution. The things she needs, and might have to do without definitely send with her. And I love that you are keeping some things safe for her until she grows up.
My thoughts are with you, and with her. I'm so sorry.
Ariel
www.nothingwitty.com
I'm so sorry for the loss and heartache you are experiencing. Hugs to you.
Here from LFCA.
I am so very sorry. My heart breaks for you and A. I can't even imagine how difficult it will be to go through her things. You will be in my thoughts.
If you can, close the door to her bedroom before you leave. Or, if you have a trusted friend, have them close it while you're gone. We did this when Boo left us, and we had my brother close the bedroom before we got home after handing over our son. Later on, you can go away and have a friend or seven put things into storage. Only when you're ready. You don't need to get rid of anything, but putting it out of sight helps with the healing.
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