I have to go through her things before Saturday. I have to pick out the toys and clothes I'm going to let her leave with. I want her to have some familiar things to take with her as she goes through this transition, but I also know I won't be getting any of these things back.
Some of the things will go with her.
Some of the things I will save for her when she grows up.
Some of the things I will resell.
But, I don't get to go through these things on my terms. I have to to do it now--this week. I wanted to be able to decide how and when I mourn. I didn't want someone else telling me when and how to.
Some of the things will be easy to part with, but others will not. It will be easy to send her barbie house and barbie dolls, because she uses those on a daily basis. But what about the backpack I had her name monogrammed on, the one that matches mine?
It'll be hard being forced to go through these things before Saturday, but what happens when I come back home Saturday night, to an empty house with toys and clothes that have been cherry picked through and she's not here any more?