The Never Ending Day

If you started out every day with an empty plate, mine would have ended full of shit. Today was just horrible. And never ending.

I had high hopes she wouldn't be mentioning her pregnancy much in class, at least for the next few weeks or so, after she emailed me once I told her my medical reason for being out. She told me she had two miscarriages in the last six months, so she understands how I am feeling. Judging by her email, I had assumed miscarriage number 2 was the "pregnancy she thought she had" those first few class days of class.

I was wrong. Shortly after pulling my notes out of my bag, she walks in and starts setting up for class. While I was surfing my phone, I hear her voice talking to anothe student, but I'm not paying much attention to her. Then suddenly, I start understanding what she's saying. She's talking about her pregnancy and morning sickness. Then the girl to my left starts chiming in and then suddenly a girl three seats over on the right starts talking about pregnancy too.

I start breathing slowly. I can get through this. It's only a few seconds of conversation. But, they keep talking, LOUDER, and it's just not stopping. I send out a few tweets...

... as I debate how far behind I will get if I miss another day of classes with a test coming up. Just as I am about to lose it, they finally stop.

My eyes were full of tears and I didn't hear the first few seconds of the lecture as I want to break down. Fuck school, I just want my baby back.

I eventually made it through the rest of the day and hoped the evening would be better. I have a ton of stuff to study for. But for some reason, life had other plans.

While I am sending a tweet, my brother reads over my shoulder and says as sarcastically as possible, "What advice are you seeking for your miscarriage? Maybe I can google it for you." Typical asshole-brother response, I try to ignore it.

But, a few minutes later, he comes back in and starts in on the whole miscarriage shit again. I tell him to stop because he's being an asshole. Being an assholey brother (at times) he starts getting loud and says "It's not like you lost a child or anything. You just bled a lot. It happens all of the time. Fucking get over it."

Those words truly hurt my feelings. I wanted NYEBoy home---NOW! A few minutes later, he comes home and I debate on telling him. I didn't want him to "stand up" for me and get in an arguement with my brother... even though I wanted him to know how hurt I was. He calms me down and we decide to go to dinner and a movie.

On the way to dinner, I remember I have two online assignments due at midnight. It was around 8:30, so I decided just to go on and eat, then come home and do them just in the knick of time.

Well, I finished one completely, but still had four left on my second quiz. I was pissed because those four questions were 45% of the grade and it left me with an F for that quiz.

Instead of losing it any more, I just decided to go to bed. Of course that made NYEBoy mad because he had hoped to go to the movies with me at 12:30, but I was too upset.

Some days are just shitty... and today was one of those days!